Archive for June, 2017

Refrigerator Vision

June 3, 2017

My wife has diagnosed me with a disease called “refrigerator vision.” That is, things can be safely tucked into the fridge but I can’t see them, because the item sought is hiding behind the ketchup bottle.

Others have made reference to “old man’s vision,” or “selective vision,” or “you have to move things to see what’s in the back of the cupboard.”

What is the opposite of misogyny? That is, when a man says derogatory things about women, that’s the term used to describe the tendency. However, when women, such as the married ones in current comic strips (Hagar the Horrible, Blondie, Pickles) roll their eyes at their husband’s shortcomings, we laugh and think it’s funny. Do I recall from my childhood that Major Hoople’s wife regularly called him an insect? Beating up on aging husbands seems to be a favorite pastime.

Yes, I do have trouble seeing items. It takes me 15 minutes to find the right condiment in the grocery store, because they all look the same yet they all look different.

My ophthalmologist says that this is not a vision problem but a perception problem. After that diagnosis, I don’t feel any better.

I keep hearing a (female) member of my childhood family saying to me, “If it were a snake, it would have bit you.” She was probably right. The item was there all along.

I’m especially perplexed when something gets moved.

I’ve really raised two issues here. One is why I can’t see stuff. The other is why older men, particularly husbands, are considered fair game for ridicule.

Any thoughts on either topic?